This painting I titled “Losing Myself.” I want to say I wish I was back to my old life but with the knowledge I have now. I wish my sweet brother was here with me. I miss him so very much. But the perpetual wish to have my brother is the only reason I want to go back. I am evolving. I still make many mistakes but I am also more resilient and patient with myself. My depression is now more manageable and I have more control on my emotions. However, there are characteristics of my personality that remain no matter what. That is why I painted the fading face on the background. I am losing myself; the myself of the past but not completely. My evolution is a life long pursuit and one that I must take day by day without losing, in the process, the essence of who I am.
This abstract was made by smearing paint with a palette knife to see what image or resemble of an image I could see. By turning the page in all 4 directions I found a possible trio of weird looking individuals, a bird with a long beak, and a look alike giraffe. I opted to work with the giraffe. Then, I blocked out everything else with different colors. After that I worked with the figure and enhanced it here and there with other colors like pink to bring it up a little. I show my technique below. There is a similar technique I’m learning right now with Tracy Verdugo in her awesome workshop “Paint Mojo.” More on that in another post.
This, as my first abstract, is the latest technique I’m learning. It has no real story behind it other than experimenting and having fun with other creative venues in hope to find new outlets to express my experiences and visions of what’s meaningful to me as part of my artistic evolution.
“Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte. One of my favorite characters in literature. I tried to be more aggressive in my approach and rendering of this painting. It is not a mirror image of how I imagined it in my mind, but I am grateful for what I’ve accomplished and for the place I’m in with my art. I know I’m becoming the artist I was intended to be. I believe with my heart God is watching me. I keep working and practicing. This painting in particular gave me a lot of happiness because, with exception of the hair, I did it from my imagination. I looked for reference to help with painting the hair because I was messing up so bad that the paint wasn’t sticking to my substrate anymore. Anything else is with no model or picture of any kind.
Hester Prynne in “The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
Here is Hester Prynne all finished. I decided to do the caption in Photoshop. Probably it would look better if I do the lettering myself but I haven’t found a good golden pen. So, for now this is it.
Hester Prynne’s character shines in a time when repression and religious hypocrisy run rampant . She lives in New England Puritan Era where she is found guilty of adultery. Hence, the need to include her baby Pearl in my work. The letter A on her bosom is her badge of shame. A badge that she decides to hold with dignity and in recognition of her mistake but that also allows her to know who she really is. An adept embroiderer she embellishes the letter with golden thread and becomes self sufficient surviving the ever accusing look and people’s gossip. Hester’s does not stumble under vitriolic condemnation but soars as time goes by in independence and as a benefactress.
My symbols include, of course, baby Pearl who becomes her constant reminder, voice of logic, and ultimately her redemption. A scarlet and golden ornamented A lays, in contrast, against her dark and conservative clothing. The wood like frame resembles the prison door (heavy and contrived, as the culture calls for.) A glowing but stern face shows a haughty character and inner strength.